It’s going to be
another list. I think by now you already know how much I love lists.
·
Remember, getting
used to a new routine takes time. When you get home from a hospital with a
one day old baby you might feel a bit confused. You can’t get back to your
everyday routine, but you have no idea what exactly to do with this baby of
yours. This is normal, it happens to everyone. It will take some time until
things finally start to make sense, so sit tight and try your best to stay
positive. Cities aren’t built in a day, so don’t worry, you’ll get there.
·
It’s ok
to ask for help. Babies are a lot of work, especially the first two months.
And moms (or dads for that matter) are not robots. I feel like sometimes people
believe that they must be these perfect parents and do everything by
themselves, but believe me if you try to do everything alone, you will burn out
very quickly.
Just think about it: if you are exhausted,
hungry and sleepy, you are probably also struggling to stay patient and
focused, therefore you are not being the best parent you can. So put your pride
aside and think what’s best for your mental and physical health and for your
baby – ask your partner (or parent, or a friend) to do the dishes, cook a
dinner, clean around or babysit while you get a few hours of sleep. You will
feel better and your baby will have an amazing, strong and healthy mother (or
father).
·
It’s ok
to feel frustrated. I remember I used to feel very guilty whenever I lost
my patience. Now I’m realizing that it’s perfectly normal to feel frustrated.
Sometimes since I can’t direct my anger at my baby (because it’s not her
fault), I would get angry at small things that my husband does (which is also
not his fault). There is nothing wrong with that, so don’t beet yourself up.
But be aware of it and don’t take it out on others.
·
Know,
that it will get better. Sometimes it can be hard to remember that things
aren’t going to stay the same for a long time. Children grow incredibly fast,
so chances are you won’t even notice how months will just fly by. One day you
will be upset that your baby doesn’t let you sit down even for a second, the
next they are already independent and all grown up.
My mom told me to enjoy every day, because
it is never coming back and you child is only this way once, in this moment and
is never going to be the same ever again, so just think about that and
remember, it will all pass sooner than you think.
·
Try and
have some Me time. Even a few quiet minutes might give you this extra push
to be positive, productive and happy. Just 15 minutes of hot shower, some nice
pampering, reading, drinking tea, watching videos or lying in bed can make all
the difference. Don’t forget that you are still an independent person and you
need some time alone to feel like a human again.
·
Just feel
this love. From the first week to the end of your days you will be filled
with unconditional love to your child, even if they are not treating you very
nicely. Let this love in and enjoy it, as it is the best feeling you will ever
experience. Don’t resist the urge to kiss your baby, hug it, bite it in a sweet
cheek or tickle it an extra time. It will make you feel better.
·
Multitask
to get things done. I am all worked up in the mom stuff, but I still want
to do many other things that I just don’t have time for, so I try and combine
them together. I watch YouTube videos on my phone while breastfeeding, I do
exercise when my daughter plays next to me, I cook when she is in her stroller
by my side, in the evening when she is asleep, I do the dishes and fold freshly
washed clothes while watching a movie or a TV show with my husband. This way I
spend a lot of time with my baby, have time to do things and stay active and
positive throughout the day.
·
Reward
yourself. I know that many people advice against rewarding yourself with
food, but I just can’t resist. It’s one of a few pleasures I have in my life
right now. I’m always looking forward to my evening porridge and a nice cup of
tea, on a particularly bad day I let myself have some sweets, sometimes, if my
daughter sleeps well and long at night, I would have a cup of wine or a beer.
Those little treats bring a smile to my face and make it all a little bit
easier.
·
Find out
what calms you down and helps you stay positive. You know yourself better
than anyone, so use this knowledge to calm down and stay happy. For example, I
know that tea always relaxes me, so whenever I feel a bit more impatient and
frustrated, I make myself a cup of my favorite tea. Even if you have to hold
your baby while drinking it, or play with him/her, it will still make you feel
a little bit better.
Another really good tool is music.
Sometimes when I’m trying to put my baby down for a nap, she gets very grumpy
and whiny and it really stresses me out. I have a song for that situation. It
instantly makes me feel better and I put my daughter to sleep in no time.
Just
if you are curious, the song is Charles William - Where You Wanna Be.
·
Find
people that are going through the same things. I don’t know what is it
about others suffering with the same thing that makes it better, but it works.
So, get out there: watch videos of new moms, talk to your friends that have
children or ask your mom or grandma for advice – they’ll be happy to share some
wisdom with you. Baby Center has a really cool community of moms from all over
the world and even if it’s really tough on you, I guarantee there will be a
woman that is going through the same thing and maybe there will be one that
knows how to fix it.
·
Share
your feelings. Humans are social beings so sharing our feelings naturally
calms us down. Tell your husband how you feel, let him know about your
struggles. Sometimes even a hug can turn a bad day around.
Being a mom is a 24 hour every day job with no break, but it
is also the most rewarding thing in the world. Before I had my daughter I used
to believe that life kind of pauses when you have kids and starts going on
again after they go to college, but now I feel like nothing before my daughter
even counted. I know that not everyone will feel like this, but really hope
that at the end of the day children will bring nothing but joy to their
parents.
I hope this list was helpful to someone. Thank you for
reading. Have a lovely day!
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