I've been battling anxiety and panic attacks for more than half of my conscious life and yet I still manage to discover some new things that are related to my panic disorder.
Learning more about my anxiety has significantly improved my mental health. If you are reading this because you struggle with similar issues, I hope this article will be of some help. If you are reading this in the hope of understanding someone else that might be going through this, thank you for your effort, you are making an impact even by being aware of those issues.
Headaches.
I've been having tension headaches since middle school. I don't even notice them at this point unless they are extra strong for one reason or another.
I always thought that their main cause was malnutrition and dehydration (I didn't have the best eating habits back then), but as it turns out I can drink all the water and eat oh-so-healthy and the headache will still be there. It doesn't bother me though. I've gotten used to them. And over the counter medication beautifully handles the worst ones.
Teeth clenching and tension around the face.
This one blew my mind, honestly. About a week ago or so my teeth started hurting. It felt like they were pressured by something, how having braces might feel, I imagine. It was confusing to say the least until something woke me up one night and I noticed that I was actually clenching my teeth. After reading a bit about this and analyzing it for a couple of days I realized that I've always had this issue. Sometimes I clench my teeth unconsciously when I get nervous or irritated. And when I was still a teenager I would get these twitches all around my face when studying was exceptionally difficult and stressful, around exams and tests as well. I even went to a few doctors and was prescribed a medication for this, except it only made it worse.
This issues came full circle when I started paying attention to my facial muscles. I still tense them all around my face when stressed. The only difference is: now I'm becoming aware of it. Now I know what's causing it and can finally work it out.
Tense abdominal muscles and intense abdominal pain.
It's important to mention that this one is rare and only occurs during episodes of highly intense anxiety. One day we were away from home and I had a very strong and somewhat traumatic panic attack that made me feel weak and crippled. I immediately told my husband that I can't possibly stay there, even though the panic attack has passed. Something felt very wrong. On the way home my stomach started to hurt. It was like nothing I've felt before. The entirety of my abdomen was in pain for no apparent reason. It freaked me out because when it concentrates in a particular organ, you can kind of guess what's wrong from there. But I've never heard of something that makes everything hurt.
By the time we got home, I felt like I couldn't even function. I laid down and went to Google for help. The second I hit 'search' surprise-surprise "muscle tension and anxiety" pages started popping up. Turns out, one of the many ways our body can respond to stress and anxiety is by tensing muscles. Sometimes, if they are abdominal muscles, your stomach will hurt. It's not dangerous, you don't need to be alarmed. Although I have to admit, it is quite painful.
Legs going "numb".
For me, this is a dead giveaway that a panic attack is coming. It happens before every single one of them. A cold creepy feeling washes over my legs, making them feel weak, senseless and unreliable. It's comparable to a burst of cold air that's hitting only your legs.
One time, I confused our car's air conditioning with this feeling. Even though it was a false alarm, it triggered an actual panic attack.
Pins and needles.
Don't confuse it with the previous one. This is a different kind of numbness. The one that hits you when you're not anxious at all. It feels like your leg has gone numb and tingles a little while restoring blood circulation, except your foot is not asleep and those pins and needles last for up to 40-60 minutes. This used to happen to my toes a lot for no apparent reason. It has disappeared since then, but I do remember how scared I was reading about multiple sclerosis and whatnot, thinking that I'm dying of a terminal condition when in reality it was my anxiety.
Eating too fast is a trigger.
Now, I don't know if this is the case for everyone, so don't take my word for it. All I know is that stuffing yourself with pizza is definitely not a traumatic experience. However, every now and again if I let myself go too hungry and then eat a ton in a short period of time it triggers serious anxiety. It's very weird.
Alcohol makes it worse.
Everybody knows about caffeine. That one is pretty self-explanatory. But not many people know that alcohol also worsens anxiety sometimes. Quite a few people over the years have told me to take a shot for bravery when I'm feeling anxious. I'd say that I feel overwhelmed and need a minute to catch my breath and they'll say something like: "It's all right, just drink a glass of wine" or something like this.
Yes, for the most part, alcohol has helped me socialize easier and not have such a bad time in a crowded space, but it's not a cure for all mental suffering.
If you already feel anxious or you know you will be anxious, do not consume alcohol. Trust me, you'd be much better off without it.
"Bad days" spontaneously come back for no reason.
I believe this is what makes anxiety so hard to battle. It has a tendency to return when you don't see it coming.
There have been so many days when I felt proud of myself for overcoming my fears, being more outgoing and holding up in social situations without panicking, only to find out the next day that I was celebrating too early. I would have a good month or even two and then suddenly crash and have a week of intense anxiety that makes me feel crippled. It's especially overwhelming since you've got the taste of what it's like to be normal.
But worry not. It doesn't stick. You just have to slowly pick yourself up and work your way onto the light one baby step at a time. And you will be proud of yourself once again. And, yes, it will return for another battle again and again, but you will win every single one of them.
Trying to relax doesn't work, but getting annoyed at it does.
If you have ever told anyone about your anxiety, I'm sure at least one person has told you to "just relax". Of course, that doesn't work. Shocker. But what had a surprising effect on my anxiety is being annoyed at it. If you visualize your disorder as a person that you can't get rid of (like a classmate or a relative) and that's extremely annoying, showing up in all the wrong moments, but you have to choice but to make peace with the fact that it's there. This has helped me to switch from "oh, no. my anxiety is here. what am I going to do? I must find a way to suppress it" to "oh, great, my anxiety is tagging along again. oh, well, since I have no saying in this, the least I can do is not let it ruin my day".
This has helped me to see that it's not the end of the world if I have a panic attack in public. I'm this way and it's ok. Not only does this state of mind decreases the likelihood of having a panic attack in the first place, but even makes them lighter and shorter if they do happen.
This trick doesn't work all the time, but it really improves my overall state of mind. Give it a go, maybe it'll work for you too.
Analyzing it is good but overanalyzing is the worst.
It's good to know the underlying causes and patterns of your panic attacks, but focusing too much on the technical aspects of it can do more harm than good. Kind of like that time when air conditioner triggered my panic attack because it resembled the numb feeling that I have before it. Overanalyzing is also responsible for my fear of transport. As soon as I enter a vehicle, my brain instantly brings up all bad experiences I had in similar scenarios. I begin to analyze everything around me, searching for clues of what might go wrong in the same way that it did the last time.
Just about half of my panic attack nowadays are triggered by overthinking. So do research but don't obsess over it. Other people's experiences are not the ultimate truth and one bad moment doesn't mean that from now on all of the similar moments will be bad.
The smallest most normal thing can trigger a panic attack.
Little things that you didn't know bothered you might set you off. Small things like Ferris wheel making three turns when you expected one (embarrassing personal experience) or somebody talking too much (a serious personal struggle). I guess, eating too fast belongs on this list as well. Just absolutely ordinary things that somehow found a way to trigger your inner alarm.
Most people will be in denial or complete ignorance until they actually see you have a panic attack.
No matter how well you describe it, they will not be able to comprehend what it means until they see it happen. This can be frustrating at times and appear like people are disregarding your mental issues, but it's actually quite normal. They don't mean to do this.
I believe those are all the things that took me by surprise on my journey of self-discovery. I hope I was able to shed some light onto this complex topic and hopefully was able to help at least one person somewhere in the world.
If you are struggling with anxiety and panic attacks, remember that you're not alone. A lot of people struggle with mental health, the only reason it doesn't seem like it is because mental problems are often invisible to the naked eye. Don't let yourself get isolated. Reach out for others, open up about your fears to someone you trust.
I wish you nothing but luck.
If you want to know more about this subject, be sure to check the "Anxiety" tag on this blog and it will lead you to anxiety related posts.
Thank you for reading. Have a great day, beautiful stranger.
Learning more about my anxiety has significantly improved my mental health. If you are reading this because you struggle with similar issues, I hope this article will be of some help. If you are reading this in the hope of understanding someone else that might be going through this, thank you for your effort, you are making an impact even by being aware of those issues.
Headaches.
I've been having tension headaches since middle school. I don't even notice them at this point unless they are extra strong for one reason or another.
I always thought that their main cause was malnutrition and dehydration (I didn't have the best eating habits back then), but as it turns out I can drink all the water and eat oh-so-healthy and the headache will still be there. It doesn't bother me though. I've gotten used to them. And over the counter medication beautifully handles the worst ones.
Teeth clenching and tension around the face.
This one blew my mind, honestly. About a week ago or so my teeth started hurting. It felt like they were pressured by something, how having braces might feel, I imagine. It was confusing to say the least until something woke me up one night and I noticed that I was actually clenching my teeth. After reading a bit about this and analyzing it for a couple of days I realized that I've always had this issue. Sometimes I clench my teeth unconsciously when I get nervous or irritated. And when I was still a teenager I would get these twitches all around my face when studying was exceptionally difficult and stressful, around exams and tests as well. I even went to a few doctors and was prescribed a medication for this, except it only made it worse.
This issues came full circle when I started paying attention to my facial muscles. I still tense them all around my face when stressed. The only difference is: now I'm becoming aware of it. Now I know what's causing it and can finally work it out.
Tense abdominal muscles and intense abdominal pain.
It's important to mention that this one is rare and only occurs during episodes of highly intense anxiety. One day we were away from home and I had a very strong and somewhat traumatic panic attack that made me feel weak and crippled. I immediately told my husband that I can't possibly stay there, even though the panic attack has passed. Something felt very wrong. On the way home my stomach started to hurt. It was like nothing I've felt before. The entirety of my abdomen was in pain for no apparent reason. It freaked me out because when it concentrates in a particular organ, you can kind of guess what's wrong from there. But I've never heard of something that makes everything hurt.
By the time we got home, I felt like I couldn't even function. I laid down and went to Google for help. The second I hit 'search' surprise-surprise "muscle tension and anxiety" pages started popping up. Turns out, one of the many ways our body can respond to stress and anxiety is by tensing muscles. Sometimes, if they are abdominal muscles, your stomach will hurt. It's not dangerous, you don't need to be alarmed. Although I have to admit, it is quite painful.
Legs going "numb".
For me, this is a dead giveaway that a panic attack is coming. It happens before every single one of them. A cold creepy feeling washes over my legs, making them feel weak, senseless and unreliable. It's comparable to a burst of cold air that's hitting only your legs.
One time, I confused our car's air conditioning with this feeling. Even though it was a false alarm, it triggered an actual panic attack.
Pins and needles.
Don't confuse it with the previous one. This is a different kind of numbness. The one that hits you when you're not anxious at all. It feels like your leg has gone numb and tingles a little while restoring blood circulation, except your foot is not asleep and those pins and needles last for up to 40-60 minutes. This used to happen to my toes a lot for no apparent reason. It has disappeared since then, but I do remember how scared I was reading about multiple sclerosis and whatnot, thinking that I'm dying of a terminal condition when in reality it was my anxiety.
Eating too fast is a trigger.
Now, I don't know if this is the case for everyone, so don't take my word for it. All I know is that stuffing yourself with pizza is definitely not a traumatic experience. However, every now and again if I let myself go too hungry and then eat a ton in a short period of time it triggers serious anxiety. It's very weird.
Alcohol makes it worse.
Everybody knows about caffeine. That one is pretty self-explanatory. But not many people know that alcohol also worsens anxiety sometimes. Quite a few people over the years have told me to take a shot for bravery when I'm feeling anxious. I'd say that I feel overwhelmed and need a minute to catch my breath and they'll say something like: "It's all right, just drink a glass of wine" or something like this.
Yes, for the most part, alcohol has helped me socialize easier and not have such a bad time in a crowded space, but it's not a cure for all mental suffering.
If you already feel anxious or you know you will be anxious, do not consume alcohol. Trust me, you'd be much better off without it.
"Bad days" spontaneously come back for no reason.
I believe this is what makes anxiety so hard to battle. It has a tendency to return when you don't see it coming.
There have been so many days when I felt proud of myself for overcoming my fears, being more outgoing and holding up in social situations without panicking, only to find out the next day that I was celebrating too early. I would have a good month or even two and then suddenly crash and have a week of intense anxiety that makes me feel crippled. It's especially overwhelming since you've got the taste of what it's like to be normal.
But worry not. It doesn't stick. You just have to slowly pick yourself up and work your way onto the light one baby step at a time. And you will be proud of yourself once again. And, yes, it will return for another battle again and again, but you will win every single one of them.
Trying to relax doesn't work, but getting annoyed at it does.
If you have ever told anyone about your anxiety, I'm sure at least one person has told you to "just relax". Of course, that doesn't work. Shocker. But what had a surprising effect on my anxiety is being annoyed at it. If you visualize your disorder as a person that you can't get rid of (like a classmate or a relative) and that's extremely annoying, showing up in all the wrong moments, but you have to choice but to make peace with the fact that it's there. This has helped me to switch from "oh, no. my anxiety is here. what am I going to do? I must find a way to suppress it" to "oh, great, my anxiety is tagging along again. oh, well, since I have no saying in this, the least I can do is not let it ruin my day".
This has helped me to see that it's not the end of the world if I have a panic attack in public. I'm this way and it's ok. Not only does this state of mind decreases the likelihood of having a panic attack in the first place, but even makes them lighter and shorter if they do happen.
This trick doesn't work all the time, but it really improves my overall state of mind. Give it a go, maybe it'll work for you too.
Analyzing it is good but overanalyzing is the worst.
It's good to know the underlying causes and patterns of your panic attacks, but focusing too much on the technical aspects of it can do more harm than good. Kind of like that time when air conditioner triggered my panic attack because it resembled the numb feeling that I have before it. Overanalyzing is also responsible for my fear of transport. As soon as I enter a vehicle, my brain instantly brings up all bad experiences I had in similar scenarios. I begin to analyze everything around me, searching for clues of what might go wrong in the same way that it did the last time.
Just about half of my panic attack nowadays are triggered by overthinking. So do research but don't obsess over it. Other people's experiences are not the ultimate truth and one bad moment doesn't mean that from now on all of the similar moments will be bad.
The smallest most normal thing can trigger a panic attack.
Little things that you didn't know bothered you might set you off. Small things like Ferris wheel making three turns when you expected one (embarrassing personal experience) or somebody talking too much (a serious personal struggle). I guess, eating too fast belongs on this list as well. Just absolutely ordinary things that somehow found a way to trigger your inner alarm.
Most people will be in denial or complete ignorance until they actually see you have a panic attack.
No matter how well you describe it, they will not be able to comprehend what it means until they see it happen. This can be frustrating at times and appear like people are disregarding your mental issues, but it's actually quite normal. They don't mean to do this.
I believe those are all the things that took me by surprise on my journey of self-discovery. I hope I was able to shed some light onto this complex topic and hopefully was able to help at least one person somewhere in the world.
If you are struggling with anxiety and panic attacks, remember that you're not alone. A lot of people struggle with mental health, the only reason it doesn't seem like it is because mental problems are often invisible to the naked eye. Don't let yourself get isolated. Reach out for others, open up about your fears to someone you trust.
I wish you nothing but luck.
If you want to know more about this subject, be sure to check the "Anxiety" tag on this blog and it will lead you to anxiety related posts.
Thank you for reading. Have a great day, beautiful stranger.
I am a sixteen year old girl reading in class11.i started to feel all these things from class 8th like increased heart beat,can't say anything at the moment,legs goes numb, teeth clenching,face tension,can't breathe properly at the momentand shaking.it really feels like I am dumb or stupid.i have got it checked as well but the doctor says it's just nothing.many thinks that I am faking this all.do you think I have panic disorder.please reply.
ReplyDeleteHi, love.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds a lot like anxiety\panic disorder but the only person who can tell you for sure is a medical professional. I want to encourage you to speak with one just in case. They might be able to help you manage the symptoms and figure out what's the cause of this.
Everything you feel is valid. You are definitely not dumb. Not everyone performs good under school pressure. I wasn't great at it either.