How I deal with my panic attacks

I started having panic attacks in high school (as you do) at the age of around 15. At the time I wasn’t really good ad describing the feeling and wasn’t smart enough to google it immediately, so I just went on with my life, hoping that it would somehow stop on its own. I was anxious most of the time, never even realizing that it’s not a normal state to be in. And all of that I blamed on puberty, insecurity and my introverted personality. Needless to say, my panic attacks lasted very long, frightened me and were truly awful. My anxiety, unnoticed by me, was making me feel uncomfortable in my own skin and my own life.

That until I stumbled upon a video of one of my favorite youtubers – Zoella – where she described what panic attack is, what it feels like and what can you do about it. Suddenly, everything became very clear. Now it had a name that I can type into my browser and find hundreds of people with the exact same problem, sharing tips and asking questions. That moment, I believe, was a big contributor to my happiness, because it made me realize that everything I was feeling wasn’t coming from healthy happy place and was actually seriously damaging my sense of self-worth.

I’m definitely going to talk a lot more about my anxiety in the later posts, but today I would really like to share what helps me with my panic attacks and what I would definitely recommend you to try if you have a panic disorder. These are not tips by any means, because some of those are pretty self-explanatory, but I hope that they still might shed some light onto how to master your anxiety.

It’s important to remember that everyone is different, everyone’s anxiety might have different triggers and some of the things that help me might actually make someone else feel worse, so just listen to your own body to find out whether it helps you or not.

Without further ado here is how I deal with my panic attacks:

 

Drink water. Unless that specific panic attack makes me nauseous, I would always try to have a few sips of plain water because surprisingly, it has a very strong soothing effect on me. It somehow slows down my breathing and relieves some of the stress that is “sitting” in my chest.

 

Lay down. I don’t know if everyone else experiences this, but during a panic attack I always feel that my head starts to get very heavy, my sight worsens to the level where I can’t see anything and my body starts feeling extremely light as if I was turning into a stuffed toy. It tricks me into believing that I’m fainting even though that’s not at all what fainting feels like. The fear of falling makes everything way worse so I always try to either sit on the floor or lay on the floor, because the fact that you can’t fall from it gives me some sense of security.

 

Try to breathe at the same pace. I feel like the biggest contributor to this “fainting” feeling is not even rapid breathing but the inconsistent one. As I try to slow it down it would get too slow and then raise up again because of O2 deprivation, so I always try to concentrate on just keeping it at the same level.

 

Rationalize. I know that all of you probably know exactly what a panic attack is, but sometimes repeating to yourself that it’s just your body’s emergency respond going at the wrong moment could make the whole thing a lot less scary. I like to repeat to myself: “This is just my body’s way of responding to danger. Sometimes, it gets it wrong. It’s pure chemicals that are affecting my breathing, my muscles and my heartbeat. The “fight or flight” urge is not relevant, because the danger is not real. But if it were, this could have saved my life. It’s ok. It’s natural. It’s going to pass,” and etc. Personally, I really like to imagine how my body releases those chemicals (like adrenaline) and how my muscles are overflown with energy because of those chemicals. This helps, because understanding how something works makes it less scary.

 

Cry if you can. Crying is probably the best thing that helps me release some of the energy and frustration. In a panic you are overflown with fear. Your body will have to get rid of it one way or another, crying just makes it faster. Now it’s important to know that not every panic attack will “let” you cry. I don’t know exactly why, but sometimes I couldn’t cry even if I tried and other times I feel the tears in my eyes, ready to get out. Normally, I can hold them back if I want to – they are not uncontrollable – but I would strongly advise you to let yourself cry if you have the option. Trust me, it’ll make you feel much better.

It’s ok to ask for help and it’s also ok to ask to be left alone. Every person is different. Every panic attack is different. Sometimes, I feel like being near someone, sometimes I want to be completely alone. Remember, that you have the right to ask for any one of those things if you feel like it. Do not feel bad. Do not feel like you are a burden. A lot of times people genuinely want to help, but don’t know how. And they actually can make things worse if they try something that they feel like would help them in this kind of situation. The best thing for you and for those around is if you vocalize what you need.

“Having people around pressures me. Please, leave me alone.”

“Would you stay with me? It would make me feel better.”

“Could you give me a cup of water?”

“Answering questions makes me more anxious, could you please be silent?”

To some people it might sound a bit rude, but so what? In the moment of panic you don’t really have the time or the strength for courtesy. You can always explain yourself after it passes, but in the moment you need to be selfish and take care of your well-being.

 

The more you fight it, the longer it will last. This one is not easy. Actually, it could be the hardest thing on this list, because when you are experiencing something awful, you naturally want to fight it. The only problem is: the more you resist and try to push it away, the more anxious you get.

It probably took me about 7 years to learn to surrender to my panic attack, and now they are much lighter and shorter. I can’t say this is the reason they’ve gotten easier, but it definitely played a part.

I can’t advice you how to not fight your panic attack, because I don’t fully understand how I do it myself. The only thing I do that you can do too is to say: “I’m having a panic attack. No matter what I do, it will happen. It’s all right. I accept it. I’m going to wait for it to pass and I will get on with whatever I was doing”.

If my panic attack is caused by something (not out of nowhere), I try my best to get my mind off the subject. One of the things that has recently been causing me a huge amount of stress is politics. Mainly because most of the news have something to do with racism, judgment, hate, fights and arguments, all of which naturally make people anxious. Also, because a great deal of news somehow concern Russia and they don’t seem to be all that great. I prefer to not know, not get involved in discussions about it and not even think about it all.

Sometimes, however, I hear some news without wanting to or get into a conversation that I can’t get out of that fast and start feeling anxious. I immediately leave the place and try to distract myself with another topic: what am I going to make for dinner, which book am I going to read next, analyzing a movie we saw the day before – anything. This actually prevented a lot of panic attacks for me.

However, sometimes they are not caused by anything or may be caused by something you can’t avoid, like public transport, school, work, lifts etc. If this is your case, this tip would be completely useless.

 

Find a comforter. There are a lot of things that may help you calm down. Hands down, the best one is music. I actually have a playlist in my phone called “In case of a panic attack”. In there I’ve gathered all kinds of songs that calm me down either because of their slow rhythm or because I associate them with the time in my life when I was calm and happy. Besides, listening to music helps you tune out and not get bothered by people around.

Another very powerful thing is smell, although you need to have something that strongly associates with calmness and safety for you. I was fortunate enough to have a smell like that – in China my husband used the same cologne every day. I could smell it every time he hugged me, every time we were close to each other, I could smell it on his clothes and his pillows. Being the person I instantly felt connection with and being my first proper boyfriend, he made me feel safe and trustworthy, which got associated with the smell of that cologne. I don’t know if they still produce it now, but I kept that one bottle that still has a little bit of that cologne and now use it if I feel unsure, uncomfortable or if I know that I might feel anxious. Sometimes, I put it on my wrists so I can smell it at any given time, sometimes – on the scarf, sometimes just smell it straight out of the bottle. And it helps. Surprisingly a lot. I even spritzed it on something when I was about to go to the hospital to give birth to my daughter, even though my husband was with me the whole time. Not that it made labor any less scary, but I’m convinced it was slightly more enjoyable.

 

No matter how frightening it is in the moment, it will pass. Sometimes it is easy to forget that panic attacks only last for 10-30 minutes. Personally, I take great comfort in knowing that they are fairly short and don’t really happen one after another. And even if I feel miserable, I know that it’s going to be over sooner than I think.

 

Tell someone about it. Support system is the most important thing in treating almost any mental issue. Having someone you trust, who knows what to do when you are anxious, could make you feel so much better. It could be a friend, a parent, a partner, even a coworker who is simply aware of your anxiety could make your life easier. Don’t be afraid of sharing with people you like and trust. Chances are you’ll find someone who knows exactly what you are talking about.

The more we speak about our anxiety, the more we understand it, the easier it is to overcome or learn to live with. At least that’s what I’m choosing to believe.

 

Anyways, that’s it for today’s post. I really hope this will help someone. Even if one person feels a little bit less lonely in his or her anxiety, then it all was worth it.