I think we can all agree that potty training is a stressful time in any family's life. It's time and energy consuming, not to mention all the pee and poop and laundry that comes with it. Therefore, it may seem daunting to travel or even go out at this delicate but crucial time.
Today I intend to convince you that you most definitely can road trip and fly and explore while potty training. Even though accidents will happen, they won't be nearly as dreadful as we expect them to be.
Let me start by clarifying that we were one of those parents that got rid of diapers once and for all once we decided that it was time. One morning we just switched them for underwear, making sure to explain to our daughter what was happening, and continued with underwear even at night, even while going to the store, even when having a camping trip only after 3 or 4 months of potty training and it's questionable success.
In some situations, though, we chose to put a diaper on top of her knickers so that she would get wet, but the surroundings wouldn't. Those situations included being in an airplane seat, sleeping in someone else's bed or in a hotel room. This way we used up nearly all of the remaining diapers we had left over the course of 6 months and didn't get any absorbent surfaces wet, because let's be honest, leaving a puddle of pee after yourself in a seat or a bed is not cool at all.
We, obviously, had a little portable potty as well as the one that goes over a normal toilet and makes it suitable for kids, but we barely used it even when we were going to public bathrooms so I wouldn't call it a must. What I would definitely advice you to get is the waterproof sheet to protect the bed, especially if you are going without diapers at night.
We had 3 types of underwear to help us with the process.
We had normal thin underwear, about 5 pairs of the one that comes with double lining in the middle and cloth reusable diapers that came with inserts that were especially useful for the night or a long drive. All of those are optional, of course. We just used the cloth diapers because we already had them for a very long time and we bought the double lined ones because that was required by school our daughter goes to. By all means, if you want to do it with normal knickers and nothing else, you absolutely can.
First and most important thing: explain to your kid what's happening. Do it every day, every time as soon as there is a slight question or confusion. "Mommy doesn't pee in her pants. Daddy doesn't pee in his pants. You are a big boy/girl and you can go about your business like an adult". Also, It's quite helpful to involve them in washing. At home, but especially in public. For example, our daughter had an upset stomach throughout our 3 days worth of travelling when we flew to Russia, so she pooped her pants pretty much every 2-3 hours or so. I changed her in the airport bathroom and then showed her how I was washing her underwear, pants and sometimes socks in the sink. I made sure she knows that I have to do this every time her knickers get wet or dirty and she quickly understood that she should try her best to let me know if she has to use a bathroom.
Make it pleasant, not stressful.
I know it's a very frustrating process. Trust me. I can't even count all the times that I cried because of potty training. But you need to be a better man and understand that it's a very big adjustment for a kid and a lot of instant responsibility. Try not to make it any harder than it already is, so for goodness' sake don't ground them for wetting their pants or not being able to hold it until you get to a bathroom. Just like walking and talking, controlling bowel movements takes time. They'll get it eventually, but only with your encouragement.
What my husband and I like to do is point out that we've all been there. We do it when she falls down, accidentally bites her tongue while eating, spills something, drops something or pees on something. "It's all right. These kinds of things happen all the time. They happen to everyone. I also stumble sometimes, I also drop things accidentally and there was a day when I used to pee my pants just like you. There is nothing wrong with that".
Being prepared is very important.
In the beginning, I would recommend carrying 3 or more changes with you at all times just in case. Right now (we've been potty training for 7 months and normally have an occasional accident or two a month) I can get away with not bringing any or just one change of clothes if we are going somewhere for 2-3 hours. If we are going for a longer period of time, I like to bring a few changes of clothes, but mostly because it might get colder or hotter and she might want to wear something more weather appropriate or in the likely event of her playing in the dirt or sand or spilling something on herself. Of course, make sure to bring wipes and a bag for wet/dirty clothes.
Always bring the potty with you if you can. If you are in your car or even if you have a big stroller, just bring that potty along. Even if you have accessible toilets, having backup doesn't hurt.
Besides, don't you just wish that it was appropriate to pee like this for everyone, not just for kids? Such a natural thing to do and yet we made it into something that is almost shameful.
And look how fun it is to pee, eat a dumpling and enjoy the nature all at once.
If you suspect me in collecting pictures of my child peeing in weird places, you wouldn't be entirely wrong.
By the way, if you are not ok with this, you can always just put the potty on the seat of your car and have your kid do it inside, but it's much less comfortable that way.
Don't apologize for your kid's natural need. Sometimes, you will be surrounded by accessible public bathrooms, but there will be a time when you just can't find one no matter how hard you look for it. That happened to us a lot in Russia and also in Finland. In such situations, you might have to ask to use a bathroom that is not normally open for anyone but staff members or have your kid pee in good old bushes.
And for goodness' sake don't feel bad about it. First of all, peeing is a basic need that everyone has. And, secondly, allowing your child to wet themselves and have to change them completely might be pretty embarrassing for them. So sacrifice a bit of your comfort and choose fun and mischievous bushes over wet pants. You won't regret it.
Always be on a lookout for public bathrooms and don't miss an opportunity to go.
After about a month of potty training, you'll get a hang of the timing of your kid's needs. I started off with setting a timer for 40 minutes, which (spoiler alert) wasn't enough to prevent accidents, but soon started kind of feeling like it's time. Now, of course, she is able to go once every 2-4 hours during the day depending on how much water she drinks that day. So every time it feels right or if I know we won't have access to a bathroom for a while, we go to the toilet just in case.
Know your backups. Every country is different, so you should always research it to know where you can turn in time of an emergency. On the American continents pretty much everything is filled with convenient stores half of which have bathrooms in them. Super easy.
In Europe, however, it's much more difficult to find a public bathroom. There you have to look for a subway station or a big plaza or a supermarket. Churches would probably let you use a bathroom as well. If none of those are available, look for a fast food restaurant. Buy yourself a cup of coffee or something and use their bathroom while you're at it.
Another emergency option could be a casino. I don't know if they would let you enter with a child, but at least when I urgently needed a bathroom, they were super understanding about it and registered me (to make sure I'm not just trying to sneak in) extremely fast to let me through.
Go together. Let's say you are in an airport and you are running from bathroom to bathroom to avoid accidents. Your child might quickly realize that the whole thing is about her/him and might start feeling like a weight on your back instead of being a part of the team.
Make it a group activity that you both need. My daughter was afraid of flushing toilets for a very long time and would only sit on a toilet after I sat on it. It was comforting for her to see that I use it first. It also improved her understanding of potty training and her feelings towards it. It suddenly became a thing that everyone does, not just something I'm forcing her to do. We pee together, then we wash our hands together, we see other ladies walk in and out and wash their hands after using the toilets. It was very educational and even kind of fun. We learned about standing in lines and being polite, letting elderly people or moms with newborns go first and a lot of other things about human interactions.
Everything could be a lesson. Everything is potentially fun.
You don't need to make this time a burden. It might as well be unforgettable, touching and bonding, but for that, you'll need to get out of your comfort zone for just a little bit. And if awkward things do happen, learn to smile at them and cherish them. Maybe even take a picture. Trust me, those are the moments you won't forget, so you have to make them count.
Today I intend to convince you that you most definitely can road trip and fly and explore while potty training. Even though accidents will happen, they won't be nearly as dreadful as we expect them to be.
Let me start by clarifying that we were one of those parents that got rid of diapers once and for all once we decided that it was time. One morning we just switched them for underwear, making sure to explain to our daughter what was happening, and continued with underwear even at night, even while going to the store, even when having a camping trip only after 3 or 4 months of potty training and it's questionable success.
In some situations, though, we chose to put a diaper on top of her knickers so that she would get wet, but the surroundings wouldn't. Those situations included being in an airplane seat, sleeping in someone else's bed or in a hotel room. This way we used up nearly all of the remaining diapers we had left over the course of 6 months and didn't get any absorbent surfaces wet, because let's be honest, leaving a puddle of pee after yourself in a seat or a bed is not cool at all.
We, obviously, had a little portable potty as well as the one that goes over a normal toilet and makes it suitable for kids, but we barely used it even when we were going to public bathrooms so I wouldn't call it a must. What I would definitely advice you to get is the waterproof sheet to protect the bed, especially if you are going without diapers at night.
We had 3 types of underwear to help us with the process.
We had normal thin underwear, about 5 pairs of the one that comes with double lining in the middle and cloth reusable diapers that came with inserts that were especially useful for the night or a long drive. All of those are optional, of course. We just used the cloth diapers because we already had them for a very long time and we bought the double lined ones because that was required by school our daughter goes to. By all means, if you want to do it with normal knickers and nothing else, you absolutely can.
First and most important thing: explain to your kid what's happening. Do it every day, every time as soon as there is a slight question or confusion. "Mommy doesn't pee in her pants. Daddy doesn't pee in his pants. You are a big boy/girl and you can go about your business like an adult". Also, It's quite helpful to involve them in washing. At home, but especially in public. For example, our daughter had an upset stomach throughout our 3 days worth of travelling when we flew to Russia, so she pooped her pants pretty much every 2-3 hours or so. I changed her in the airport bathroom and then showed her how I was washing her underwear, pants and sometimes socks in the sink. I made sure she knows that I have to do this every time her knickers get wet or dirty and she quickly understood that she should try her best to let me know if she has to use a bathroom.
Make it pleasant, not stressful.
I know it's a very frustrating process. Trust me. I can't even count all the times that I cried because of potty training. But you need to be a better man and understand that it's a very big adjustment for a kid and a lot of instant responsibility. Try not to make it any harder than it already is, so for goodness' sake don't ground them for wetting their pants or not being able to hold it until you get to a bathroom. Just like walking and talking, controlling bowel movements takes time. They'll get it eventually, but only with your encouragement.
What my husband and I like to do is point out that we've all been there. We do it when she falls down, accidentally bites her tongue while eating, spills something, drops something or pees on something. "It's all right. These kinds of things happen all the time. They happen to everyone. I also stumble sometimes, I also drop things accidentally and there was a day when I used to pee my pants just like you. There is nothing wrong with that".
Being prepared is very important.
In the beginning, I would recommend carrying 3 or more changes with you at all times just in case. Right now (we've been potty training for 7 months and normally have an occasional accident or two a month) I can get away with not bringing any or just one change of clothes if we are going somewhere for 2-3 hours. If we are going for a longer period of time, I like to bring a few changes of clothes, but mostly because it might get colder or hotter and she might want to wear something more weather appropriate or in the likely event of her playing in the dirt or sand or spilling something on herself. Of course, make sure to bring wipes and a bag for wet/dirty clothes.
Always bring the potty with you if you can. If you are in your car or even if you have a big stroller, just bring that potty along. Even if you have accessible toilets, having backup doesn't hurt.
Besides, don't you just wish that it was appropriate to pee like this for everyone, not just for kids? Such a natural thing to do and yet we made it into something that is almost shameful.
And look how fun it is to pee, eat a dumpling and enjoy the nature all at once.
If you suspect me in collecting pictures of my child peeing in weird places, you wouldn't be entirely wrong.
By the way, if you are not ok with this, you can always just put the potty on the seat of your car and have your kid do it inside, but it's much less comfortable that way.
Don't apologize for your kid's natural need. Sometimes, you will be surrounded by accessible public bathrooms, but there will be a time when you just can't find one no matter how hard you look for it. That happened to us a lot in Russia and also in Finland. In such situations, you might have to ask to use a bathroom that is not normally open for anyone but staff members or have your kid pee in good old bushes.
And for goodness' sake don't feel bad about it. First of all, peeing is a basic need that everyone has. And, secondly, allowing your child to wet themselves and have to change them completely might be pretty embarrassing for them. So sacrifice a bit of your comfort and choose fun and mischievous bushes over wet pants. You won't regret it.
Always be on a lookout for public bathrooms and don't miss an opportunity to go.
After about a month of potty training, you'll get a hang of the timing of your kid's needs. I started off with setting a timer for 40 minutes, which (spoiler alert) wasn't enough to prevent accidents, but soon started kind of feeling like it's time. Now, of course, she is able to go once every 2-4 hours during the day depending on how much water she drinks that day. So every time it feels right or if I know we won't have access to a bathroom for a while, we go to the toilet just in case.
Know your backups. Every country is different, so you should always research it to know where you can turn in time of an emergency. On the American continents pretty much everything is filled with convenient stores half of which have bathrooms in them. Super easy.
In Europe, however, it's much more difficult to find a public bathroom. There you have to look for a subway station or a big plaza or a supermarket. Churches would probably let you use a bathroom as well. If none of those are available, look for a fast food restaurant. Buy yourself a cup of coffee or something and use their bathroom while you're at it.
Another emergency option could be a casino. I don't know if they would let you enter with a child, but at least when I urgently needed a bathroom, they were super understanding about it and registered me (to make sure I'm not just trying to sneak in) extremely fast to let me through.
Go together. Let's say you are in an airport and you are running from bathroom to bathroom to avoid accidents. Your child might quickly realize that the whole thing is about her/him and might start feeling like a weight on your back instead of being a part of the team.
Make it a group activity that you both need. My daughter was afraid of flushing toilets for a very long time and would only sit on a toilet after I sat on it. It was comforting for her to see that I use it first. It also improved her understanding of potty training and her feelings towards it. It suddenly became a thing that everyone does, not just something I'm forcing her to do. We pee together, then we wash our hands together, we see other ladies walk in and out and wash their hands after using the toilets. It was very educational and even kind of fun. We learned about standing in lines and being polite, letting elderly people or moms with newborns go first and a lot of other things about human interactions.
Everything could be a lesson. Everything is potentially fun.
You don't need to make this time a burden. It might as well be unforgettable, touching and bonding, but for that, you'll need to get out of your comfort zone for just a little bit. And if awkward things do happen, learn to smile at them and cherish them. Maybe even take a picture. Trust me, those are the moments you won't forget, so you have to make them count.
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