How to fly with a 2-year old

About 2 years ago I posted a similar article that listed a few things you need to consider while flying with a baby. It would still be relevant for those of you who has a baby of 1 year and under. However, traveling with a kid who is 2 and a half years old is a whole other thing, therefore today I want to give you some tips about those unpredictable loving-and-hating semi-independent guys and most importantly on how to keep them happy during a flight.

One of the biggest mistakes parents make while doing any kind of travel with kids of this age is not explaining what's going on. Trust me, if your kid is over 2 and you don't tell him/her anything before heading to the journey of your lifetime, chances are they'll get frustrated. Yes, having parents near is reassuring, but being in a big loud plane is still scary and confusing. Therefore tell them in advance about what exactly is going to happen.

Tell them that there are cities and countries, that airplanes fly really high and deliver people from one place to another, that they are loud and could seem scary at first, but there is nothing to worry about. Explain that you might have to sit in one place for an extended period of time and you all need to behave. Also, let them know that a lot of fun things are going to happen as well: cheeky snacks, maybe games and movies, a beautiful view and a new place to explore. Lay it all out beforehand so there are no surprises. 

Explain the rules that every passenger obeys inside an airplane. This is going to make everything a lot easier on you and actually will teach them that there are some situations when you don't call all the shots. That when the pilot turns the sign for seat-belts on everybody must fasten them. No exceptions. That everybody must listen to flight attendants, but also rely on them in situations when they need help.That you must respect all the staff members from pilots and officers to the lady that cleans the floor and to be cooperative, because the very core of their jobs is to keep everybody as safe as possible.

Talking about those things made our flights pretty much tantrum-free. It was frustrating to be seat-belted, but when we pointed out that the sign on the roof is still on, she completely understood the reason why it has to be this way. Maybe the line to give away our luggage was too long, but after discussing how everybody must wait for their turn and present their tickets it made a lot of sense and turned out not to be so bad after all. And perhaps going through the scanning machine and being checked by an officer was scary at first, but when you tell your kid that all of this is meant to ensure people's safety and the job of every officer is crucial, everything becomes that much more interesting.

Everything is easier to go through if you know the reason behind it.

Let them help. It could be carrying their own little bag, holding a piece of paper or helping you look for a store or a product, but being a member of the team and not just a weight to it is very important. Let them do something for you, ask for their help, make them feel useful and then express your gratitude. That will not only make it an important experience, but also a learning opportunity.

Make airports fun. Yeah. I know. Trust me, as a person with intense social anxiety and a history of panic attacks in every kind of transport, I know exactly how much they suck. To be perfectly clear I find them to be the most stressful thing after exams and doctor's appointments. And yet they can be a ton of fun.

This is where your kid will help you, because for them practically everything is exciting. Saying goodbye to the bags, going through security, watching the special car for incapable and elderly people pass by, looking for your gate, even missing your gate - all of that is fun and new for them. Oh, and there is nothing cooler that getting to give your passport to the officer like a grown-up.

I was so worried about Sofi on the first conscious flight that she took (the previous one happened when she was 7 months old), but after having a good time for that "first" time she started enjoying all of it. Absolutely no problems with being in an airplane for 10-11 hours.

Potty training. I know that a lot of people continue to put diapers on their children throughout most of their potty-training experience for situations like these and it's fine by me. But I'm telling you that you absolutely don't have to. We took the diapers off in the first day of it and never put them back again for anything. I'm not going to lie, traveling was the scariest thing for me at some point, but it turned out so surprisingly easy and enjoyable that now I cherish every bit of this experience. It's a whole process of going to the bathroom together, when I make sure that she pees and she makes sure that I pee as well - fair is fair. All the flight attendants are so friendly to a mom with a kid that go to the toilet every hour or so.

I actually think that traveling around has improved her potty-using abilities much more than any repetition at home. Honestly. If you are doing this stressful, frustrating, long and scary thing you might as well do it the hard way.

Use the opportunity to teach them kindness. Traveling in general, but traveling by plane in particular is a great time to show your child how to behave with other people. As simple as greeting the staff with a smile. You don't have to, of course, but you have no idea how much positivity you can bring to someone's day by simply being friendly. I always make sure to thank everybody involved in stressful industries that closely work with tons of people and to be grateful for their hard work. Sofi quickly adopted this mindset for herself and now she is the most thoughtful, understanding and cooperative child of all. She loves thanking people, wishing them a good day and even goes as far as asking some of them for a hug. I can not begin to explain how proud that makes me feel.
Here is her making friends with two adorable British girls and their mom. Seriously, she spent a good quarter of our 11-hour flight chatting with them.

Another thing you can do to improve the experience for everyone involved is to offer help to others. There are always people who are a bit lost or in a hurry and would really appreciate if you help them move along in line if you are not operating on such a tight time frame. As a carrier of 3,5 languages (my Chinese is very rusty, so it makes for 0,5 :)) I never miss out on an opportunity to help someone who is having troubles finding their way or communicating with others. If you know a second language, even on the most basic level, I would highly recommend to try and use it. It's a golden opportunity to get some practice, help another human and brighten your own day. Even if it seems scary.
Prepare some entertainment.

Even though a 2-year old is much easier to handle than a little baby, having some time-killers planned is still a good idea. Long flights always have screens with movies and games available, but I still like to bring something extra just in case. It could be toys, books, games - anything portable that your kid will like. For us a stuffed toy and a coloring book with crayons were a hit.

Get them something to care for. My daughter is quite fearful when it comes to loud noises and unsteady environments, so you could see why I was a bit nervous before our flight. I honestly thought she would hate it. Fortunately she just hit that age when pretending toys are her babies was a thing. With some encouragement she spent the whole flight explaining her toys that they need to be seat-belted, comforting them and putting them to sleep. 3 airplanes and 2 long train rides after that she is not afraid of traveling. In fact, she enjoys it and could easily comfort a person who is feeling a bit unsure about flying. This was the easiest trick yet.

You have to find some fun in it as well. Children sense all of your stress like little psychics. Ultimately, you have to remember that the happier you are the happier they'll be. If you are calm and in control they are also going to be calm and in control. I know you can't just flip a switch and be happy, but simply keeping this idea in mind would affect the way you see everything.

Let your routines go. For your own sake. Long distance flights or any kind of traveling that extends beyond 24 hours is going to mess up any kind of routine that you have established. If you don't prepare yourself for that you'll get so much unnecessary stress it'll ruin any kind of positive thinking that you have left in your body.

I am a routine freak. Or at least I used to be. The only things that I cared about in a day were that my child eats on schedule and sleeps on schedule, so she is never hungry or sleep deprived. Those things are very easy to achieve if you are at home, but in such dynamic environment are next to impossible. At first I was very stressed. I thought I have failed my motherly duties and my child is hungry, confused and miserable. Of course, none of those things are true.

You will not have a perfect sleeping routine and that's ok. You will not always have access to nutritious meals when you are traveling and that's all right too.

Your child will sleep when they have to. Let them. Even if it's 30 minutes in a stroller, then 3 hours on the plane and then another 2 hours in the taxi or the tube or the bus. Just let it go. You won't rest because you have stuff to take care of, but your kids will sleep just fine. You don't have to worry about it.

Same goes for eating. So what they've only had a granola bar and a bottle of water? They are not going to starve to death or get ill because of malnutrition. They are having a very interesting experience, a journey, an exciting grand trip. For them everything is exciting, they are curious and adventurous by default. Don't ruin it with your mortal worries about food. Let it be spontaneous. Trust me, you'll have a lot more fun that way.

Admit if you are not feeling well or being your best-self. I can not say this enough, but the biggest mistake parents make is not talking to their children. We tend to think that they are too small for certain concepts or we don't even realize that instead of explaining how the world works we are just giving them the rules of it, more specifically what must not be done.
But if you tried actually treating them like a capable member of society, you'd be surprised just how much they are able to comprehend.
I'll give you a personal example. Any kind of transportation gives me intense anxiety. I get nauseous, frantic, stressed and if it's bad enough I get panic attacks. That is not how a healthy human is supposed to feel. A healthy human is content and I'm very far from it. But that is not obvious for my daughter. For her, her mom is being impatient, tense and no fun at all for absolutely no reason. Why on Earth would she stay happy and calm if I'm clearly not?
Well, I'll tel you why. Because I explain to her the reasons I'm like this. I always admit to her that some things make me nervous or that I didn't behave myself like I should have and I'm sorry for that. I tell her that I'm stressed or anxious or need some quiet time to feel better and she gets it. She doesn't find my panic attacks frightening because I explained her what they are and that everything is going to be all right after they pass.
Your child is capable of ideas so complex they'll blow your mind. So be honest with them, admit to your weaknesses. You'd be surprised what could come out of that.
Here is me trying not to loose my sh*t after having an 11-hour flight and an 8-hour layover before another 4-hour flight after not being able to board my plane and needing to buy another set of tickets topped by potty-training kid with an upset stomach.

Here is me trying to stay sane after an embarrassing panic attack and approx. 9 hours of not sleeping, because Sofi couldn't get comfortable on her seat and would only sleep like this. (sorry about the pic's orientation) ((oh, and I know I look like crap, but I'm actually kind of proud of not looking ever crappier))

Pack right. Another advise that I can't give enough times is to pack little essentials to make your life a bit better on the flight. Personally, I have a little bag of stuff that I bring with me everywhere, because if you think about it they are never a bad idea to have.
I can't give you an exact list of things you need, because everyone's perfect survival kit will be different, but I will tell you what's in mine.

Hand sanitizer, band-aids, Iodine stick, lip balm, hydrating cream, antibacterial wipes for cleaning surfaces of public tables for example. This is also where I keep my menstrual cup and before I got one I used to have a few pads with me just in case. If you are a kind of person that uses make-up, you'll probably have some of the products with you as well. Like I said, it's a personal thing.
In the end, remember that it's an experience worth remembering. No matter how good or bad you are at traveling via plane, you'll spend a good amount of hours doing it. You could try and rush yourself through it, but it won't actually make it pass any faster. Even if it's just 3 hours it is still time that you'll never get back. Try and make it a memory. Make the best of it. In fact, make the best of any moment in your life, even the crappiest one.

Trust me, when you have kids the most horrifying and embarrassing moments tend to become the funniest memories that you'll hold on to and cherish forever. They are going to be the moments that make your life interesting. I hope you can see some joy and humor in them as they are happening. I certainly do and I'm not even that good at flying.