Our job as parents

Children are all unique, incredibly curious, fast learning and observant little humans. You’d be surprised how early they start having their own personality completely separate from yours and not necessarily even influenced by it. Even before they learn how to speak, they deserve the right to have control over their life. Yes, they are still inexperienced and cannot get by without help, but it doesn’t mean that their life belongs to their caregivers.

Your job as a parent is to provide them with your protection and offer your wisdom as well as expose them to a variety of situations in order to help them learn, develop and grow. After all, they are not meant to stay with us forever, therefore it’s our job as parents to assure that they are capable of living on their own. And it’s not only our responsibility to make sure they survive in the world, but also that they are happy, because 70-80 years of feeling incapable, useless, unappreciated and unhappy is not living at all.

Teach them how to be independent by showing them how to do everything. Let them simply observe, try and make mistakes. Also let them be children. It’s very easy to rush things and just wait for them to go to school, go to bed, grow up, become responsible and etc. But those early years of childhood are the only ones when they are going to feel truly childishly happy. When they can just be silly, depend on you and get dirty in the puddle.

Don’t try to change their personality. They are living their own life and they should be entitled to their preferences. Instead of trying to make them be the way you are, try to bring out the important traits such as love, compassion, responsibility, confidence and the respect for others while letting them keep their own perspective of the world.

They are unique little people. Respect that and don’t try to transfer your own dreams, goals and preferences onto them. Support their decisions even if you don’t understand them. I know it’s tempting to get them involved into something you like, but if they truly don’t enjoy it, you have no right to force it on them. They are your kids, yes, but their choices are not yours to make. Make peace with that. Trust their instincts, let them choose their own path and love them no matter what.

Be honest with them. You are human. You make mistakes sometimes and that’s all right. Don’t be afraid to admit to them. No one is perfect. Apologize to your kids if you’ve done something you regret, even if they are little, even if you feel like they can’t comprehend the importance of the situation. Remember that they feel frustrated and stressed too sometimes. Don’t let miscommunication cause you a conflict.

Respect and trust goes both ways. If you don’t tell them “please” and “thank you”, why should they? If you don’t trust them and question everything they say, why should they trust you with what you are trying to teach them? Finally, if you are judging them for something they’ve done and don’t even try to put yourself in their shoes, they will do the same thing back to you. It’s all teamwork, all right?

And in the end if you accept them for who they are and love them no matter what, you are going to get the best friend of your entire life. The friend that will not be afraid to share his fears with you, the one that you can be insanely proud of and the one that will love you more than anything in the world.